DABDA

..I stare at the blank screen..too afraid to move my fingers..too afraid to think about it.. I dont even know what "it" is.. Im taking things one day at a time.. im trying...trying so hard.. Is this really how it feels?.. Is this really it?  The worst part is I dont know.. Everyday, I wake up and the first thought on my head is "doesn't he really care anymore?".. How do I start to face life without him?.. What should I do? Do I force myself to forget everyrhing? Do I dwell on my anger, bitterness and my resentments?.. Or do I let go of everything and remember that at least I gave everything and at some point, he gave me the happiest moments and the biggest lessons I learned in my life.. Do I love him still? Yes.. And a part of me will always love him.. that much I dont have to hide.. The truth is everything in my life is on hold.. I keep waiting..waiting for some sign..anything that will tell me what I should do next.. because living one day a time will eventually take its toll on me and it wont be enough to get me through..